The Williams Family
Saturday, August 22, 2009
We now know
I'm sorry for putting this information off. I think I have just been trying to wrap my mind around the entire idea that I am going to be the mother of another girl, and not the boy I thought I knew was coming to our home. I would be lying if I said that this reality hasn't been extremely challenging for me. For nearly 3 years I have felt that there was a little boy that would be coming to our family. Kimball would very frequently tell me, "Mom, I want a brother!" One night while putting him to bed, he started crying, just out of the blue. When I asked him what was wrong, he tearfully said, "I want a brother." When he found out he was going to have another sister, he ran to a different room in the house, covered himself up with a blanket and just cried! With these different occasions with him, and what I thought were feelings from the spirit, I have had to really dig deep to find peace to KNOW that this is truly the will of the Lord for me and my family. What a great exercise of faith. I hope I will not be looked down upon too much for these honest feelings. I have no doubt that my love for our little Christine will be just as great and equal to that of my other children. I also feel very stongly, that in some future day, I will know very clearly why SHE was meant to be my daughter. Just 11 more weeks and counting until I get to meet this little sweetheart.
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3 comments:
I understand. Not because I've been there, but because I have talked to you about your feelings of another little boy. I really believe that this is something that will be made plain to you someday. For now, know that you are loved always and I am glad that you are finding the peace that you need. Love you.
I appreciate your honesty and don't judge you for it. I have six brothers, no sisters, and while it was hard for me sometimes growing up that my sister Katie never came, it's all the more joy to me to have my daughter Katie now (that's where we got the name from!). Looking back at my family's experiences and knowing the different personalities of me and my brothers, it is so clear to me that the Lord knew not only what spirits to send to my parents, but when to send them. I'm sure, in time, the Lord's wisdom will become more clear. But I know how hard it can be to wait to find out why.
I wasn't even planning on having Hannah. Just accepting the fact we were to have another baby spun me into a depression! I had a hard time the whole pregnancy. But I'm sure you know the end of the story. I fell in love the second I saw her and can't imagine life without her. The Lord definitely knows what He is doing!
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